1. The weird one who starts crying if anyone yells at her, gets anxiety attacks, rarely wears shoes, likes dancing while typing on the front computer and reminding her boss or coworkers food is good. Somehow has the best self-preservation instincts of the entire store.
2. The one who doesn't understand she is allowed to stop and eat during her eight hour/twelve hour shift, and who thinks following orders from her boss means she can ignore the ones she thinks are stupid. Mildly autistic with a growing hatred of Magic players.
3. Neurotic Jewish boy who resembles an incontinent puppy currently trying to get legally emancipated from neurotic Jewish parents. Currently has a six hundred dollar Magic card debt with the store.
4. Easy-going tattooed one who keeps showing up functionally high or stoned, who owner hired and currently has a crush on after realizing 1. is essentially an asexual lesbian.
5. Live-action Eeyore impersonator nearing fifty who is convinced everything is ultimately meaningless.
6. Cousin of owner who wants to leave to finish school and become a physics teacher but as she's store-manager and 1-5 aren't good replacements for varying reasons, her attempts to leave have thus far been unsuccessful. Addicted to Red Bull and is codenamed Rutabaga.
Owner: Bisexual man who keeps hiring people based on whether he wants to sleep with them and/or they are crazy in manageable ways instead of going through the interviewing process. Averages two hours of sleep a night, one meal a day, and goes back to his apartment once every other week. Somehow knows and is friends with an implausible number of young, attractive women in relationships with other people that show up around midnight-two in the morning and watch movies with him in the backroom. No, not 'watch movies'. Watch movies. No, seriously.
....can someone please tell me why no one's making a webcomic of my workplace?